Here I am – stuck –

I don’t know…

what to think

what to feel

what to do

How do I process this?

My Mom, one of the most alive and vibrant of women

has been reduced to a shadow of her former self –

she can’t speak

she can’t move

she can’t eat

she can’t drink

she can’t take care of elimination.

She is skin and bones.

She must be turned every 2 hours.

She is dependent on others for everything.

She is a shadow of her former self.

How is this fair? – Yes, I know, life’s not fair,

but how can her life end so insensitively?

Where is mercy when it is so fiercely required?