Author: robin

Time

| robin

Is all time equivalent?

I think not –

Sometimes time goes by way too fast –

Saturdays, time with friends, alone time, reading time –

You know, all those things you love to do, time that passes way too quickly.

But, then think about –

giving TCAP tests, birthing a baby, time in a dentist chair, waiting for the doctor to get to you –

Ah, those things that are difficult, or that you really don’t want to do,

Those things take w-a-y too l-o-n-g.

So,  is all time equivalent? – definitely not.

What Truly Lies Within

| robin

Always inside – looking out

Never outside – looking in

The way others know us

Is only deep as skin.

So much more to us –

Than outside looking in

can ever reveal to others –

We’re so much more than skin.

For if we truly know ourselves –

It’s such a weighty task

That most won’t undertake it

It’s way too much to ask.

So, before you judge another –

From the outside looking in –

Be sure you know yourself

And what truly lies within.

~January 2005

Barn Owl

| robin

Haiku for the Barn Owl

A shriek in the night –

Is it someone or something?

A barn owl sounds off.

In response to hearing this sound in the night – June 2010.

To John and Benjamin

| robin

John (1982) and Benjamin (1985)

Two sons I carry only in my heart-

never in my arms –

I never got to hear your laughter –

yet you will always be part of me.

I will never know what you could have become

for your time with me was short,

but you are forever imprinted on my heart.

I only held you in my arms as you

took your final breaths, but

I know you could feel the depth of my love.

My Game Face

| robin

My students need my best me- everyday – all day.

It doesn’t matter if I’m having a bad day –

it doesn’t matter if my heart is heavy –

it doesn’t matter if I don’t feel well –

it doesn’t matter if I have needs of my own –

It doesn’t mean they don’t care – because they do.

It simply means they need the best I can give them –

for some I’m the only good they get –

for some I’m the safe place in a chaotic life –

for some I’m the only one who cares in their uncaring world –

for all –

it’s what they need –

my best me –

all day –

everyday.

So, I put on my game face, get in the room and

give those kids the respect, love, and caring they need,

I make them laugh and often diffuse their anger with humor –

only then can I begin to teach them.

They don’t always know what they need, but,

they are children –

I am an adult.

My Little Black Box

| robin

I have a little black box.

Only I know what it contains.

I look fine, I act fine, I never complain,

so I must be fine. I get it. It’s not like

wearing a cast, being wrapped in a bandage,

or having a deformity.

I know I’m determined to make it look easy, but,

take a peek inside and what’s there just might surprise you.

It might sound strange…

| robin

It might sound strange, but sometimes I must escape the temperature controlled utopias we have created.

I must escape to smell the outdoors – rain, river, woods, freshly mown hay…

I must feel heat on my skin, reassuring myself that the world is still there –

hear the glorious cacophony of earth’s orchestra.

I must get out, get away from the carefully controlled environment that, after a time, smothers me.

Don’t get me wrong, I very much appreciate being able to choose,

but please – don’t trap me inside.

Mourning my Mom

| robin

I finally realized – today –

I’m already mourning my Mom.

I mourn the strong, intelligent, funny, compassionate,

and honest woman that my Mom was.

The dementia has already stolen her from me

with its cruel march through her mind.

I’m already mourning my Mom –

sometimes she knows me, and

sometimes she’s not sure who I am.

I can only hope with my whole heart

and entire being, that she’s not suffering –

That I could not bear.

I’m already mourning my Mom –

I don’t know how long she’ll continue

in her present state – here, yet not here.

Here in body only.

My Mom – the most influential person in my life –

the only human who has always loved me unconditionally.

My Mom – the strongest woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the most compassionate woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the most independent woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the most intelligent woman I’ve ever known, and

the wisest woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the kindest woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the funniest woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the most honest woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – the most determined woman I’ve ever known.

My Mom – yet not any longer the woman I knew.

My Mom – I’ll love you forever and you will always

live in me and through me.