A few years ago I decided the group of people I’m most disappointed in is the group I used to look up to – adults. As a child and young almost adult, I always looked to the more adults around me for answers I didn’t have. Adults who exemplified what is wise, good, kind, and fair. Adults that teach those who look up to them to appreciate the day-to-day, the ordinary for it’s those small miracles that mustn’t be taken for granted. Adults who teach young people to notice all the wonder that surrounds them each and everyday. Adults that remind them not to wait for just the big things in life to celebrate since so much will be missed if you do. Adults that remind them not to say anything if you don’t have something good to say. Maybe I was lucky to be surrounded by intelligent, caring adults who taught me the world is the gift I now know it to be – but, all too often I now see something entirely different. Adults seem to: worry only about what benefits them, be overprotective and overbearing – they don’t teach children how to solve their own problems, adults blame others who are different from themselves – whether in looks or beliefs, adults make hurtful comments, and bad decisions. I’m ready for adults to grow up – face problems, treat one another with respect, celebrate what’s right with the world – work together to fix some of what’s wrong with the world. I’m tired of meaningless phrases being repeated like they are some true life changing insight. We are none of us better than another; not for our beliefs, our political tendencies, the amount of money in our bank accounts, or our intelligence. Further, to my way of thinking our good is exposed by how we treat everyone – especially those who can do nothing for us. We have no room or time for name calling, finger pointing, or derision. I know I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that we’ll never find them if we don’t work together, talk together, and endeavor to cooperate, compromise, and use compassion when dealing with one another and the earth. My heart is large, filled with longing to do good in the world, find the favorable in others, and it’s filled with love for others. Everyday I try to be the adult that I admired and needed when I was young. The time for us to begin is now. Who’s with me?
Musings
Mom – Forever Gone?
I need some time alone so I can cry until I have no more tears.
Not cry for my Mom, but for me because she’s forever gone from my life.
But, is she? No, I don’t think so. I hear her in things I say, I see her in the mirror,
I feel her in my heart. She’ll live on in me and through me in the things she taught me
and in the way I look at life and the people in it. Always looking for the best in
others and in all situations. Showing compassion to people, animals, and the world.
Being content when you have enough. Always trying to make someone’s day brighter and better
because I’m in it. No, she’s not forever gone from my life – she’s here in everything
I do.
Past Tired
You know you’re past tired –
-when you’re sitting at a red light,
it turns green, and suddenly you realize
it’s the next traffic light –
not the one where you’re sitting.
-when you’re driving in the dark on the interstate,
and suddenly you see something that looks
like a small dog dancing at the side of the road.
-when you go to bed at 1:30, but you’re up
at 6:30 – you can no longer sleep since
your mind is racing, but your body isn’t.
– the body refuses a race of any kind.
-You’re typing an email, and as you read what you type
you realize that you’re thinking one thing and typing another.
-When you’re creating a new post and mean to save it as a
draft, but instead hit the publish button…
Sheeesh…
Puryear School
How can a building that looms so large in my memory actually be so small?
How can a building – always teeming with life, possibility, hope for the future,
controlled bedlam, and organized chaos that is a school, now be so empty and silent?
How can a parking lot that was always swarming with cars, buses, parents and students
be so flat and hushed and desolate?
How can a place where I laughed and cried; played basketball and ran track; had secret crushes on boys I was too shy to
speak to; played red rover; hung by my knees from monkey bars; made lasting friendships; started my period; occasionally studied; got caught chewing gum many times – had to
write 5,000 sentences in one night (thank you Mr. Atchison); and developed a lifetime love of reading; now appear to recollect
none of this?
How can a place that contains such meaningful memories be so totally bereft of life?
Indelible memories, forever etched in my mind, will carry me back when longing fills my soul.
I drove by there today as I always do when I’m here and wondered when my heart will no longer
feel empty, as I look at a place so reticent to reveal all that it once contained.
Living in a Dream World
Living in a dream world all my own.
Thoughts simmering in my mind –
rarely hesitating, sometimes hurrying,
other times rambling, but always seeking
my fantasy world – I can do what I want,
say what I want, love who I want.
There is no pain, no drama, I’m alone when I wish,
have companionship when I want, laughter when
I need it, tears when my soul needs cleansing, I’m
loved beyond measure, and peace fills my heart and soul.
Beauty surrounds me: flowing rivers, elegant trees,
many hued flowers, colors of the rainbow, satisfying smells,
fabulous art, soft skin, great books, good conversation,
time to write, and fantastic food to eat. I sleep when I want,
wake when I wish, and suit myself most all the time.
Superiority Complex
Why is it that some people think they are better than others?
Most problems between people seem to arise
when one person feels they are superior to another.
For whatever reason:
they may have a different skin color, or
a bigger house,
a more expensive car,
they might make more money,
or maybe they think differently than the other person.
How does that make one better than another?
That is the ultimate conundrum.
The Enchantment of Evening
The world slows down to welcome evening –
sunlight no longer makes it all the way to the ground,
but, rather suffuses tree tops in their leafy luster.
Air sheds its harsh heat in layers and becomes cooler by degree,
while the song of wood thrush fills the air with melody
that makes my heart happy. My second favorite time of day.
Labels
Why do I have to have a label?
Democrat or Republican?
Blue or Red?
Why can’t I just believe in –
being kind
providing justice for all
giving everyone a chance
ending all war – what did fighting ever fix – some get rich while others die
moving forward when it makes sense
being kind
empathizing with one another
changing when necessary
revising when beneficial
being kind
helping others when you can
recognizing the talents of women
And, never ever thinking you’re better than someone else.
Nothing positive comes of thinking you’re superior to another –
that’s where most troubles begin.
Why oh why do I have to be labeled?
The Bittersweet End of Summer
As summer ends I always have mixed feelings.
I feel happy – I get to see kids again, yet I feel anxious, am I up to the challenges of working with a new group of students? How long will it take me to learn all those new names?
I feel sad – my time will no longer be my own – I’ve gotten used to reading, writing, and going about my business on my own schedule.
I feel happy – I’ll get to see my work family again – we’ll laugh and cry together – we’ll nurture a new group of kids and help prepare them for high school.
I feel sad – I’ll be exhausted each and everyday – no time and no energy to do many of the things I want to do.
I feel happy – my life will have structure – I’m not real structured on my own…
A bit of bitter and a big splash of sweet – and summer comes to its inevitable conclusion – dragging me with it.
robinsreflectionsandramblings 